Tim

Hates: Website profiles

Likes: The scent of brake fluid in the morning

Favourite Exclamation: 'Make it so'

Filmography: Sex With Mr. Collins, Dribbly Meow Meow, Hank Nova, Te Whare and Te Furious, Get Rich or Roll the Die Trying, Genleman's Guide to Gangsterisms, Eye of the Beholder, Battle Squid, Gentleman's Guide to Cellular Phones, Cause and Effect, Sidekick, Gentleman's Guide to Orientation, Exit Clause, Engine Trouble, Cruise Thompson Presents, Pengjuan PengwangEmbers of the Past

Tim was born to a family of bantha farmers in the Mekong Delta, somewhere between February 1927 and the dairy down the road. He was plucked from obscurity and thrust into vague anonymity when his talent for making balloon animals with congenital abnormalities caught the eye of a travelling optometrist. After emergency surgery, the optometrist bankrolled Tim's world tour. Sadly, it failed like the morality of a tobacco corporation employee. Excommunicated from the holy optometric fraternity, Tim fell back on his training in the mysterious art of Bat'leth manufacturing. He built a series of fortified factories in the Seychelles, initiating a shift in the global balance of power that escalated the Rather Chilly War into the Cold War. In the 1990s, the threat of a nuclear apocalypse was eclipsed by the spreading plague of fluorescent clothing; Tim fled to the 1950s, pursuing a career as a scientician and chimney sweep in the relative safety of sepia tone. Since then he has dabbled in Angolan politics, recreational sneezing, and the cut-throat world of competitive frog arranging. Tim's life has been described as an ongoing guitar solo that becomes increasingly gratuitous with every passing year. That's what his mum says, anyway. Tim currently rents a small bungalow in the Atlantic basin and spends his time writing jokes for mathematicians and knitting socks for his pet moustache.